Let her be.

Her psyche is breathlessly gorgeous.

She stumbled into the midst of the ugliest, most aching, and painful battle, 

and then grew the most stunning wings.

And soar.

She soared above the heavy clouds of tears and sadness, 

attempting to sprinkle her glimmering dust of joy.

She is a brave, lovely, and fair maiden - full of hopes and dreams.

She yearned to kiss the rain and drink in its sweet raindrops.

Let her be.

Don’t put her in a dungeon.

Let her fly and see her inner beauty.

Let her see her worth and value.

Allow her eyes to sparkle and her voice to be heard.

Let her re-discover the world.

Travel and create great memories with her.

Don’t take her for granted.  

Fly with her.

Appreciate everything about her.

Don't compare her wings to anyone else's. She owns it, and she worked hard for it.

She deserves nothing but the best.

See her beautiful world and embrace her innocence and kindness.

She want nothing but your love.

Don't break her wings. It took a long time for her to grow such beautiful wings.

Shower her with love and let her heart flourish.

Guard her heart as you guard yours. Her heart is frail, but it is true.

She doesn't want half-hearted relationships.

She values your heart as a precious stone and will take good care of you.

She will always prove your worth.

She will cheer you up and would never ever leave you.

She's a fighter. She is both brave and vulnerable.

Don't be perplexed or pass judgment on her based on her moods.

She’s a woman with a girl’s innocent heart

and beneath her beautiful wings are the scars of yesterday.

xx

Ash

Blue.

Photo : My Instagram 

Take me out of this lonely cell of life.

Show me the flowers vibrant blooms,

Show me the tired but smiling sun and the hopeful moon.

Show me the life as I seek for a more accurate version of truth.

Show me  that you could be anything, anything in this messed up world!

And when I’m  something worth myself, leave.

Blame and condemn time, 'cause that's a better excuse.
Leave and blame me for not being perfect blame me for being too forthright.

For being not so beautiful. Blame me for being too simple and for being real.

Then let's break and hurt each other until there's nothing left of us.

Let us fall madly in love and then part ways, never to see each other again. never.

 Xx

Ash

Judge Me Not.

Today, I am feeling sad and melancholy. With all the pains and heartaches I am having/dealing with for the past half a year, I'd say that my heart's badly broken. Don't know if this will be fixed and how it'll be fixed. But hey I am always hopeful. I am always trying to keep my head above the waters.

When others misjudge you, it tears every fiber of your being apart. They will pass judgment on you for something they do not even know or understand. They will pass judgment on you based on how they perceive things. As they say, "life is unfair." People, not life, are unfair.

It's natural to pass judgment on others because that's what humans do. We make snap judgments without knowing the true score. How will you know the entire story of the book if you only skim it and never finish it? Is chapter 1 sufficient to understand the entire story? That's how we are, most of the time. And this is especially disappointing when you have high expectations for that person. Just when you thought they'd be your shield against this world of frailty and apathy, you'll find that they're the ones who'll put a bullet in your head or an arrow in your chest.  They will not see the good in you, and they will forget everything good about you—your wit and humor, your beautiful mind and loving soul—but they will always remember your flaws and shortcomings.

We'll all make stupid decisions, hurt people we care about, say things we'll regret later, and push too hard to get our way. If you tell me you haven't done any of these things, you're lying to me and to yourself. If you still insist, please tell me "how to be you po?!"

It's nice to have friends; who doesn't? Friends are there to keep us sane, to guide us, and to help us grow as individuals. Friends should be there to support or assist you in repairing a broken relationship, not to wreck or ruin it. If that 'friend' is already interfering in your relationship, you should be wary. And that friend should be aware of her own limits. However, as the old saying goes, "it takes two to tango."

I am fortunate to have friends who are truly amazing and kind. Friends who will laugh with me rather than at me. Friends who will remove the bullet from my head. Friends who understand me and will hug me so tightly.

I'm getting rid of the toxic people in my life. I want to be surrounded by people who love unconditionally and are willing to share their lives with me. Those who can enlighten my heart and soul. I'm gonna live my life the way i want it to be.

Lovelies, let’s spread love. Sorry if i rant. Can't help it.

Ash B. ❤

Goodbye Dog :(

Losing a pet is never easy. But I didn't expect it to be this difficult.

My 8-year-old dog died yesterday, August 27, 2016. A week ago, he wasn't feeling well, so I carried him on my arms, let him drink from my warm palms, and fed him. He isn't eating any, but he licked my hands to get a few drops of water. I'm sure there's something wrong with him. I told him to be strong; I knew we were getting old, but I wasn't ready to say goodbye just yet. He's been my pal for the past eight years. He has brought me pure joy and shown me loyalty that no human can provide. I have thousands of wonderful memories of Ginger.

I was so excited to get home last Saturday, but I got stuck in heavy traffic. My sister informed me via text message that Ginger had died. I was only 30 minutes away from home. 30mins! If I hadn't been stuck in traffic, I could have seen and hugged him one last time. I was heartbroken. My heart was broken, and I felt as if my soul had abandoned me. I sobbed. I sobbed uncontrollably. The pain cut deep. . The passenger next to me was intrigued but too shy to ask what was going on. He'll never understand me anyway. My eyes are swollen and red from crying. Ginger left while I was gone. How is this possible? I'm sure he waited for me. I know he was super excited to see me, but I was late. 

My dad buried him near the flower garden at the UCCP grounds. I had to say goodbye to a wonderful pet/family member. They say that pets should leave once their mission is completed. But accepting it is extremely difficult for me. I'm not ashamed to tell the world that I'm missing my pet. "Come on, he's just a dog, you can get another dog, and you already have Erwin (my brother's dog)," someone said. " He's more than a dog. He's a family member, a good companion, and he always made me happy when I was down. He's waiting for me to get home.  He loves me so much. He listens to me. You wouldn’t understand a pet lover’s heart unless you are one of us.

This will be a long process. But I’ll get through it.

*** Updated today, August 31, 2016.

Dear Ginger,

I haven’t had the chance to see you to say goodbye so I am writing this little love note for you.

I am missing you so much! I am sorry that I wasn’t there when you died. I know you waited for me that day. I knew because you tried to walk to see who arrived, but you were too weak to walk and too tired to stand. I still remember your face;  when I look into your eyes, I can see my soul. I wish I was there early. Your bud, Erwin cried, too. He’s really sad and I know that he misses you as much as we do.  

Ginger, remember that we all loved you with all of our hearts. You made our lives more special. You are such a wonderful dog. You were missed by the seniors as well. They missed you at the midweek prayer meeting. I had no idea you were a regular. Hah! You made me so proud! They said you were always present every Wednesday, and you'd just sit quietly under the long table. I'm curious if you pray. Maybe you do. You're the sweetest dog ever! You have never harmed anyone. You would rather be hurt than hurt someone. You have gentle eyes and a loving soul. We love you so much that I can't let you go easily.

We named you Ginger "Tuta" Bamba because you are more than just a pet to us; you are our newest family member. Despite your age, I called you tuta because you will always be my baby, our pup!

I'm not sure how long I'll be sad for you, but one thing is certain: I will love you forever! Don't worry, I'll look after Erwin as well.

We will be forever grateful because we once shared a wonderful life with you. Thank you kindly, Ginger. Ate adores and loves you big time!

Arf! Arf!

Ash xx  

posted from Bloggeroid

Goodbye Nanay Yaya

July 16, 2016 around 4am-ish. My granny passed away. It was heartbreaking and awful. It was my sister’s wedding last January when I last saw her- She was wearing her bright red dress that we bought for the wedding. She met my boyfriend, and she liked him immediately. She even asked him when are we getting married. We smiled and answered, soon nanay yaya, soon, so make sure you’ll be there on my wedding day. But, no, that’s not gonna happen. She left us. She already left us.

She’s the one who taught us to say po at opo at all times, or else. Told us to say goodmorning, good afternoon, good evening to someone who visited us etc. She taught a lot. And that's what me missed about her. 

My dad broke down. He cried his eyes out. He weeped and so my brothers. 2016 has tested my heart. I’m not gonna let depression win. I’ll take a rest. I’ll let my heart heal. I will ask God to heal my heart and hold me close. God is my strength.

A photo posted by Orange (@_adashofash) on Jul 22, 2016 at 11:05pm PDT