Goodbye Dog :(

Losing a pet is never easy. But I didn't expect it to be this difficult.

My 8-year-old dog died yesterday, August 27, 2016. A week ago, he wasn't feeling well, so I carried him on my arms, let him drink from my warm palms, and fed him. He isn't eating any, but he licked my hands to get a few drops of water. I'm sure there's something wrong with him. I told him to be strong; I knew we were getting old, but I wasn't ready to say goodbye just yet. He's been my pal for the past eight years. He has brought me pure joy and shown me loyalty that no human can provide. I have thousands of wonderful memories of Ginger.

I was so excited to get home last Saturday, but I got stuck in heavy traffic. My sister informed me via text message that Ginger had died. I was only 30 minutes away from home. 30mins! If I hadn't been stuck in traffic, I could have seen and hugged him one last time. I was heartbroken. My heart was broken, and I felt as if my soul had abandoned me. I sobbed. I sobbed uncontrollably. The pain cut deep. . The passenger next to me was intrigued but too shy to ask what was going on. He'll never understand me anyway. My eyes are swollen and red from crying. Ginger left while I was gone. How is this possible? I'm sure he waited for me. I know he was super excited to see me, but I was late. 

My dad buried him near the flower garden at the UCCP grounds. I had to say goodbye to a wonderful pet/family member. They say that pets should leave once their mission is completed. But accepting it is extremely difficult for me. I'm not ashamed to tell the world that I'm missing my pet. "Come on, he's just a dog, you can get another dog, and you already have Erwin (my brother's dog)," someone said. " He's more than a dog. He's a family member, a good companion, and he always made me happy when I was down. He's waiting for me to get home.  He loves me so much. He listens to me. You wouldn’t understand a pet lover’s heart unless you are one of us.

This will be a long process. But I’ll get through it.

*** Updated today, August 31, 2016.

Dear Ginger,

I haven’t had the chance to see you to say goodbye so I am writing this little love note for you.

I am missing you so much! I am sorry that I wasn’t there when you died. I know you waited for me that day. I knew because you tried to walk to see who arrived, but you were too weak to walk and too tired to stand. I still remember your face;  when I look into your eyes, I can see my soul. I wish I was there early. Your bud, Erwin cried, too. He’s really sad and I know that he misses you as much as we do.  

Ginger, remember that we all loved you with all of our hearts. You made our lives more special. You are such a wonderful dog. You were missed by the seniors as well. They missed you at the midweek prayer meeting. I had no idea you were a regular. Hah! You made me so proud! They said you were always present every Wednesday, and you'd just sit quietly under the long table. I'm curious if you pray. Maybe you do. You're the sweetest dog ever! You have never harmed anyone. You would rather be hurt than hurt someone. You have gentle eyes and a loving soul. We love you so much that I can't let you go easily.

We named you Ginger "Tuta" Bamba because you are more than just a pet to us; you are our newest family member. Despite your age, I called you tuta because you will always be my baby, our pup!

I'm not sure how long I'll be sad for you, but one thing is certain: I will love you forever! Don't worry, I'll look after Erwin as well.

We will be forever grateful because we once shared a wonderful life with you. Thank you kindly, Ginger. Ate adores and loves you big time!

Arf! Arf!

Ash xx  

posted from Bloggeroid

Feliz Compleano, self.

**** Disclaimer – This is a late birthday post, but it’s still August anyway :)

It has become an annual tradition for me to write about my birthday. I awoke around 3 a.m. because my alarm clock kept beeping. When I checked my phone, birthday messages had begun to pour in! My mother sent me birthday greetings with the question "When are you getting married?! ”. Great! Excellent! Hahaha. My sister came next, with all her well wishes and the ever-popular question, "When are you getting married?" Come on guys, are you in a hurry?!  

How quickly time passes. As I get older, I notice that each year passes faster and that life moves faster. I can say that despite my age, I still look young (hahahah), but I honestly feel old on the inside. As soon as I finish my work, I want to go home and lie down, read books, watch online movies, or surf the internet –  that sort of things.

Life is good, but I feel old – mentally, emotionally, and physically. My body felt different – I gained weight, my blood pressure slightly increased, and I had back and shoulder pain. Don't laugh or roll your eyes; it's true! Now that I'm a year older, I'm ready to face new challenges. I've experienced life's highs and lows. I overthink. I get nervous. I compared myself to others. I cried. I laughed.  I fell in and out of love. With all of this happening to me, I decided to treat myself - not by buying anything fancy for my birthday, but by giving myself a break.

While travelling to La Union, I'm scribbling a "what I've learned" list on a purple post-it note, and here's a portion of it.

You cant please everybody, so do your thing.

I used to be a people pleaser. I don't want people to be upset with me just because I didn't give or do what they wanted. But as I've gotten older, I've realized that it's not the case! You can't please everyone. Whatever you do in life will still be criticized, so do what makes you happy. Don't let them deter you. If you listen to every negative comment from those people, you'll end up feeling sorry for yourself. Smile.

        Let loose.

Stop worrying so much. It gets you nowhere. Stop overthinking. Worrying is pointless and, yes, stupid! Try to take a deep breath and appreciate the wonders of the world. Cry if you have been hurt by someone. But don't stop there. Give yourself a break. Have fun.

Be nice. Don’t be a bitch.

I understand that we all have those moments when we are grumpy, cranky, and annoyed – and those around us suffer as a result. That is normal. We all have those moments, but don't let it become a habit. You can't be a jerk all the time. Be pleasant and smile. You had no idea what the other person was going through. He may have needed a hug or a simple smile, but you yelled at him or rolled your eyes at her. Being a bitch is the most horrific thing in the world. Let us spread love and positive energy.

 Give yourself a “me time”.

As the saying goes, "all work and no play makes John a dull boy." You deserve some me time at least once a month. Get a relaxing foot spa or a body massage. Get a new look. Paint your toes red. Get that hot red lipstick. Doing these things is extremely therapeutic for me. Believe me, it is!

Love never fails. People Do.

We all get hurt. We all feel bad after a failed relationship, don’t  be bitter about life and about love. Love’s one of the best gifts given to us. People are not perfect so don’t look for a perfect love story. But hey, there’s one best love story I knew – John 3:16.

Those are the top five items on my list. I have a few more, but I'll save those for my next post. Anyway, my life has been bumpy, and it isn't as #flawless as it appears on my social media accounts. I simply choose to post positive things about myself in order to spread positive energy. I, for one, do not want to see negative content in my newsfeed, so why should I post it? But, hey, the hashtag #blessed is real, because I am and always will be blessed

Oh, by the way, let me share you my birthday experience, up north! 



Day 1 La Union.

• Gapuz farm
•  Ma-cho Temple
• Halo-halo de Iloko
• China Sea beach Resort

Grape picking is now off my bucket list, yay! We had a fantastic time at Gapuz Farm. Our next stop is at Ma-cho Temple. You can say a prayer and light the incense sticks for free (you can donate btw). We had lunch at Halo-halo de Iloko, where we ordered papaitan, pork binagoongan, and their famous fiesta halo halo. We arrived at China Sea Beach resort in the late afternoon. We haven't been able to enjoy the beach because the weather has been extremely bad and swimming is unsafe. But we had a great time swimming at the pool.

Day 2 Baguio.

• Naguilan Road View Deck
• Café in The Sky

This is our first trip down Naguilan Road. I was nervous and tense because the road to Baguio is narrow and steep. We finally saw this magnificent view after more than an hour! Wow! It's absolutely breathtaking! It piqued our interest, so we pulled over and took a few photos. I'll always love Baguio - the cool breeze, the scent of vanilla and pines, and this panoramic view.

After a few minutes, we took Mt Cabuyao Road and arrived at Café in the Sky around 3 or 4 p.m. The area was covered in fog, and it was raining! Hahaha. It could have been more beautiful if it hadn't been raining. I had visions of a sea of cotton clouds – haha. But it's not what I expected. Nonetheless, the experience is priceless. We left at 6 p.m. and returned to Manila.

My takeaway - I'm sure life will throw me a lot of challenges; I'll still have ups and downs, but isn't that the grand traverse of life? I'm confident that as I get older, age will be just a number. Cheers to living for today, without regrets, comparisons, or insecurities. Thank you for making my life so wonderful.

Love,

Ash xx