When a woman reaches the age of 30, uncommitted with no eligible
prospect in sight, suddenly people gets "interested" in
her - not in a good way – but either be the ‘topic’ at the office or at any
family gatherings or she will become an exhibit or an experiment. They
couldn’t wait to give their unsolicited advice topped with all types of
formulas, theories, and a ten-point how-to-tips in order that they may finally
be able to get her hitched.
Welcome to my world!
Yes, being single in your 30ish isn’t easy. Lotsa people will ask
and will continue asking when are you gonna marry. It’s as if you can just
marry anyone. My not so favorite moment is when people would
ask me (as if they haven’t asked me before), “Why are you
still single?”. I could come up with several answers depending on who is asking
the question. But my honest-to-goodness response would only be, “I don’t know.”
I mean seriously, I just really don’t know! Well, I did not plan any of these –
certainly not! In fact, I planned to get married at the age of 28 to 30,
have 2 little ones and retire at the age of 60! I’ve been into
relationship and I guess I tried so hard, but it just didn’t happen the way I
wanted it to. So, what I have right now and where I am right now is NOT part of
my plan.
Everybody loves to talk about relationships and there’s nothing
wrong about it. But if you’re putting too much pressure on someone because of
their relationship status, you’re making them feel miserable, you make them
feel sorry for themselves for not having someone.
I admit, being single can suck – big time! It can get lonely. It
can make us feel undesirable or unloved and we all want to be wanted because
it’s the feeling we all want to have. Having someone simply makes us feel good
- it makes us feel wanted. But let me tell you, it’s a temporary fix to our
loneliness.
Let me just remind you that just because you’re single doesn’t
mean you’re not wanted. You’re wanted by our first love – the King of kings!
And there’s nothing greater than that.
Nowadays, we’ve made a humdrum of wasting our singleness by
wishing it doesn’t exist. We’ve used up too much time praying for a future
spouse and not enough time praying for the Lord to fully satisfy us in who He
is. We’ve spent too much time wasting our breath saying “I need someone
to love” and not enough time saying “Lord, help me to love You more.”
When we start to treat our singleness as a gift rather than a
curse, then we’ll begin to appreciate it as a gift. We’ll begin to acquire
things about ourselves that we didn’t even know we needed to learn. We’ll begin
to love the Lord in radical ways that we didn’t even realize we could love Him
in. We’ll begin to receive love from Him and from others that we didn’t even
know we needed to accept love in.
Every day I have to surrender my worldly desires, my dreams, my
expectations, my needs, my wants and focus on what I have at the moment. Every
day is a gift and there are just so many things I could be joyful about. I pray
to God to open my eyes in order to see those gifts. Indeed, there’s a lot!
But at the end of the day, nothing could ever yet compare to being
in His presence, knowing that I need not be afraid of what tomorrow would bring
because He loves me. He knows everything about me. He created me so He knows
exactly what I need and when I need them. I simply have to trust Him.
And if that special guy comes along, at least he would find me in my
most complete state – not desperate or broken – but full of life and filled
with love!
To all the ladies who are in the same boat with me, let me raise
your spirits. There are so many beautiful things to be glad about in this
season. Ask God to open your eyes to see His beautiful gifts just for you. Life
should not start only when you find your lifetime partner. Life should begin
right now – exactly where you are. Do not allow waiting to kill you like a
wilting flower. Shine and bloom where God has planted you. Be the best person
that you can be and allow the glory of God to shine upon you and within you.
Do not allow yourself to be carried away by your emotions and
settle for whoever is within your arms reach. But rather let the wisdom and
spirit of God carry you through the man, God has been raising up to be your
husband. Who knows, he just might turn up one day and sweep you off your feet!
Oh, that would be absolutely amazing!
In this season of singleness, God wants us to learn the depth of
intimacy with Him. This is the season I’ve found myself in; the Lord has been
radically filling me with all of who He is because I’m at a point in my life
where I fully desire nothing and no one but Him. I find myself so often on my
face begging for more of Him. It’s beautiful. It’s life-changing. It’s a season
I’ll never forget. Just Him and I. Me and Him. Nothing else. No one else.
God bless your hearts!
xxAshxx
